Finding Peace
by chloeewenzel
Summary: Each Avenger is suffering in their own way in the aftermath of the Tesseract Event.


Usually when I went on solo missions for a long time, I would return to my temporary apartment, a microwavable dinner waiting for me in the freezer and a cool beer ready to be drunken. I would kick off my boots and dump my bow and arrow and other weapons on the lounge, open the window and listen to the streets of New York bustle around me in the night. I would have a quick shower while I waited for my meal to heat up, and I would walk around in just a pair of shorts.

But tonight, there were three definite changes as I arrived home.

The first one was, I was returning to Stark Tower rather then a small apartment. I was greeted by Jarvis, who asked how my mission went and told me which floor I would be staying in.

The second was there was no microwavable dinner and beer waiting for me. Instead, sitting steamy hot on the table in the huge room of Stark Tower, was a plate of Silverside – my favourite dish smothered in cream cheese – and a glass of blood red wine.

The third was a sleepy Natasha who wandered out of another room of my apartment as I sat down and began to eat. She was wearing one of my black shirts, which failed to conceal the navy blue lacy panties she wore underneath them. Her hair was damp and hung in loose curls around her face, which was makeup-free, and her eyes looked tired as she stood in the door way and watched as I lowered my knife and fork and swallowed the food in my mouth.

The permanent frown on her brow softened slightly as I stood up and walked over to her, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

"Your home."

I nodded at the obvious question, and her eyes scanned my face before she walked over to the table and grabbed my glass, taking a sip of the red liquid. I followed, sitting back down in my own seat and finishing off the hot meal.

"You made this?" I motioned to the red meat with the fork.

"I did."

I grabbed my glass from her hand and took my own sip before handing it back.

"Why?" I asked finally, finishing off the meal and resting into my seat.

"You've been gone for a very long time, Clint." She shrugged, standing up and grabbing my plate and finishing the rest of the wine before walking into the large kitchen and filling up the sink.

"So?" I grabbed a tea-towel and began drying the dishes as she scrubbed. I counted the weeks I had spent in Ireland in my head. I had been gone for nearly four months.

"I missed you."

I was almost startled by these words, but remained neutral as we continued to wash and dry the few dishes I had used.

"Did you eat?"

"I've been living in your apartment for two months, Clint. Basically all of my items have been moved into your room. I think I'm pretty capable of feeding myself at my own desired time." She unplugged the drain and dried her hands on my shirt. I finished drying the dishes and she began to put them away.

"Fair enough." I mumbled as she bent over to put the plate in the cupboard. I honestly tried my hardest to avert my eyes from the amazing sight of her ass, but failed miserably. "How's everyone going?"

"Haven't heard anything from Thor yet, Steve's been diagnosed with depression and is getting professional help from numerous doctors and Banner and myself. Tony and him are the best of friends and spend the majority of their time in the lab working on improvements for who knows what, and Pepper's pregnant." Natasha simply shrugged it off like it was totally normal.

"What? Steve's depressed and Peppers pregnant?" I almost yelled, my heart sinking at the thought of our team leader suffering from inside and the tiny frame of Pepper swelling with the due child.

"Yeah. It's worse for him, he feels it ten times worse then any ordinary person would due to the serum. He's getting better, though. Him and I have become rather good friends in your absence, and I'm always there for him. If anything, he's handling it rather well for a man who's lost everything." She sighed, turning and leaning against the bench as I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest.

"I hope I'll see him soon," I mumbled.

"He wants to see you. He feels like you would understand him like I do. He needs it, too." She mused.

"Of course." I sighed.

We stood there in silence for a while, and I pondered on what I had just been told. I am going to kill Fury for assigning me on a solo mission for that long.

"Loki has really fucked all of us up." She eventually said, chuckling sourly as she walked into the bedroom.

"What do you mean?" I sat down on the bed, finally kicking off my boots.

"He has revealed our weakest sides…" she trailed off, leaning against the wall opposite me. "Steve, for example, now has the time to grieve over everything he has gone through in his life. Bruce is now fighting between controlling the Hulk or being taken over by him. Tony is completely obsessed in making sure our defences are unbeatable in case of another attack and is hardly paying attention to his pregnant girlfriend. Fury is still fighting for his role as Director and Phil's dead!" she exclaimed, and her eyes flashed with sorrow for a second before turning hard again.

"Your still suffering." She continued, glaring at me as if I were Loki himself. I blinked twice, but denied nothing. "Your still having continuous nightmares, still facing the aftermath of being compromised by Loki, of being out of control of your own body, of killing agents and nearly killing _me._"

I nodded slightly, sitting with my elbows on my knees and my back slouched slightly. We were both exhausted.

"And what about you?"

She glanced at me, her plush lips tightening into a firm line and the permanent frown on her brow deepening in thought. She took a deep breath as if to steady herself.

"It's like a new feeling awakened in me as soon as I got that call from Phil telling me you had been compromised. Everything I had done was to get you back. I hardly slept or ate, I put myself through hell and back, all because I couldn't lose the only man who understood me." She shifted against the wall, leaning her had on it and closing her eyes. "I told Loki that I owed you a debt, and that love was for children, but even then I knew I was lying to myself."

"Natasha…?"

"Maybe I had always felt like this for you, but all I know is that as soon as I knew you were in immediate threat, I couldn't lose you. You're the only person I can't lose, Clint. And then you left for your mission only a few weeks later before we even had the chance to sit down and talk properly after the Tesseract Event, and I felt alone." She opened her eyes, staring at me with a soft expression, and she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Basically, all I'm trying to say is that thanks to that crazy Demi God with bad taste in helmets, I am hopelessly in love with you, Clint."

Air suddenly became hard to breath as her words hung heavily in the room, ringing in my ears and making my heart thud crazily. For six long, dangerous years, Natasha and I had built an unbreakable partnership that no one would understand. Simply partners. But deep in my heart I always knew I had feelings for a woman I would never have a chance with.

In our line of work, there was no time for feelings. There was no telling that we would make it through each day alive, we were always in immediate threat.

So when I could finally breath normally again, I stood up from the bed and walked over to her, closing the distance between us and placing my hands on the wall either side of her face, pinning her body between my own and the wall. She looked up at me with an unreadable expression, but I couldn't help but notice the glimmer of hope in her eyes as I stared into them.

I took a deep breath, breathing in the familiar scent of her vanilla body wash she used everyday, and exhaled again.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words." I breathed, and without a second thought, I slammed my lips to hers and kissed her with every fibre of passion within.

She responded nearly instantly, curling her hands over my shoulders and wounding her arms around my neck. Her lips moved with mine and she finally opened her mouth so my tongue could explore the mouth I have waited to kiss for what felt like a lifetime.

She didn't back down, though, and her tongue fought mine for dominance as we explored each others foreign mouths with such force that my jaw began to ache. My arms moved from the wall and snaked around her waist, pushing out bodies together in the heated moment. She pulled me down, and I stooped down lower so I could scoop her into my arms and pin her back against the wall as she wound her legs around my waist. She cupped my face in her hands as my own gripped at her ass to hold her in place.

She broke away eventually, breathing heavy as I moved from her lips to her neck.

"Bed. Now."

I smirked against her creamy skin and carried her over to the bed. I laid her down on her back gently, but she used her legs that were wrapped around my waist to yank me down on top of her. I chuckled as she raised an eyebrow, and my hand crept under the black shirt she wore.

I felt her warm soft skin on my calloused fingertips, inching higher and higher. She wore no bra, and when I grasped one of her breasts in my palm, she let out a gasp and quickly pulled my lips back to hers with urgency as she ripped off my shirt and threw it on the floor. I chuckled again and removed her own shirt, her breasts fully exposed.

"Are there security camera's in here?" I breathed against her lips.

"Yes,"

I started to pull away and yank the blanket over her chest, not wanting anyone to see her exposed like this. She giggled, the first giggle I had ever heard her do, and threw the blanket off of her.

"No one can see us." she smiled up at me, running a hand through my hair.

"How can you be sure," I stroked her cheek lightly, kissing her forehead.

"Because," her hands travelled to my belt, and she began unbuckling it. "I've already switched them off."

* * *

The next morning, we lay in a tangled mess of naked bodies and sheets, I played absentmindedly with her hair as she rested her head on my chest, her breathing deep and even in sleep.

It was nine thirty in the morning, but Jarvis had not interrupted a single moment. I knew the others would be wondering why we were still sleeping so late, but I couldn't care less. Everything was perfect.

For the first night in over four months, I had not awaken from a nightmare, cold but covered in sweat, screaming with the images Loki had plastered in my mind that would haunt me forever.

Things were just right, until there was a buzz and the phone on the bedside table lit up, and Natasha sat up in an instant and reached for the phone.

"Yes?" she yawned into the speaker, glancing at me with a small smirk as she rubbed her eyes with her free hand. "Oh hey, Cap. Yes, h-he's home."

I sat up too, running my fingers up and down her spine and smiling as she shuddered at the touch.

"Yes, sure thing, we'll see you in an hour. Bye for now, Steve."

She snapped her phone shut with a small smile.

"What did he want?" I pulled her over to me, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"He cannot wait to see you, Clint." She smiled wider. They really had become good friends while he was gone.

"That's nice." I kissed the top of her head lightly.

"C'mon, get out of bed, we need to get ready. We're going out for breakfast."

She stood up, walking completely naked into the bathroom and throwing me a seductive glance, and I instantly jumped out of bed and followed her.

* * *

_**Hi everyone, I got big big big plans for this one! Follow/favourite/review and stay tuned for more if your interested!**_

_**Disclaimer; I own nothing but the story line. Marvel has the honour of everything else. And I especially don't own Jeremy Renner… for now… **_


End file.
